Drudging up a memory.
Huh, who would have thought that this trip would bring to mind such a painful memory? I was packing this evening, choosing my favorite shirts and jeans and as I picked one up rolled it up and placed it into the luggage, I simply thought. “This is such a Steven thing to do.” and for the first time, I laughed to myself about it. Steven was a really good friend of mine who passed away in 2009, It’s been such a painful spot in my heart, it had taken until I guess now, for me to fully get over his passing.
When I go to Portland I will be seeing 2 people who in life had been closest to him, I had not thought of that until now, in fact it’s been awhile since his passing has crossed my mind, I had taken the stance of blocking his memory, not because I wanted to be spiteful but because I realized, I HAD to move on and I simply couldn’t
while carrying his memory the way I was.
So to laugh and to finally, finally look back and realize, I do miss him and I very much loved him as my brother, I can look fondly at the time I spent with him, I can reach back to the nights under unbidden stars and the stories we told as our laughter echoed out across whatever landscape we were shooting in that night and I can appreciate them. I am so thankful that I am making this trip, it may be VERY “Steven” of me to make it, but perhaps it’s already given me the closure I have needed.
rest in Peace my friend, Your memory will ALWAYS be here.
as for the rest, see you soon!