35 years, now where do I go.

by tatjannam

I am really not sure how I have floated through life thus far without feeling so incredibly hard about what I am doing and who I am. I’m one of those people who falls and just figures, oh well, get back up and do it again. And hey, that’s worked thus far. I have a self made career that has allowed me to be with my kids and add income to my home. I enjoy what I do. But I think it’s time to move forward. I’m ready to do something with my life before I’m old and grey. I’m ready to feel needed in a work environment. I’m simply not getting that right now.  I think my husband is too. 15 years for the same company at the same job, he has a BA and still only makes a pittance and unless something changes, we are pretty much done for. Not being the types to rely on others to make changes for us we are ready to come to terms with this part of life. We have only 8 years until our last one jumps the roost.
But I have a problem, nothing out of the ordinary for students I guess. But I have decided to go back to school, I actually decided last year and thus began the issue of deciding what I wanted to do. I’ve this long list of possibilities. On one half I want to travel after retirement, maybe I can get a teaching degree and do TEFL when I’m ready. But I love nature, not just a little but almost to the point where in a misplaced state I could theoretically live off the land. I have an innate understanding of ecology and have considered this immensely. However 8 years in college will make me 43 at graduation and the 5 more years to get experience.  48? That might be a tough age for a newbie in the workforce. And finally Graphic design, I don’t really love it, but I don’t hate it. I understand it, it’s like clock work for the basic stuff right now. I can already do layouts and logos, create spreads and so on and so forth. I really wish my brain would let me decide, so I can get on with it already! 🙂
35, it’s like being halfway across a bridge with a forest fire on the side you just left. You really want to go back, or hell , enjoy the view from the middle, but inevitably you have to go forward.